Sunday, December 28, 2014

Woe is Me Episode 1

We now begin with the daily adventures of the Bodine family, everybody's favorite poor Appalachian family. The adventures are as written by little Timmy Jimmy Bodine.

Maw went down to the crik to do the warsh. It is hard doin' the warsh in the winter. The water in the crik gets so cold and maw has the arthuritis. I only has two pair of pants and one with a big ole hole in the crotch and sometimes my unmentionables be hangin' out. kinda embrrassin' it be. It ain't easy bein' poor. Paw needs new dentures a-cuz his last set of choppers just fell in the toilet in the outhouse cuz he sneezed. Now he has to mash stuff up into a mush sose he can eat.

My brother needs some new shews too. We is keepin' the soles on wit duck tape and the duck tape is wearin' out. It is tough in the winter when the soles of your shews are flappin' around and it makes a lot of noise when you is huntin' fer possum. It scares the possums away. Grandmas is a bit cranky cuz she ran out of chewin' tobacky and she tries to substitute it wit other stuff from the woods. Last summer she ran out too and was stuffin' weeds in her mouth to satisfy her chewin' urges but the weeds turned out to be poison ivy. Her tongue swelled all up and we couldn't understand what she be sayin' 'till the swellin' went down.
It sure is hard bein' poor. Oh, woe is me.

To Be Continued ...... 

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